Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
