He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
