Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
