WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
