i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
