Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
