how can u be prego again
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
