my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
