i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
