We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
