I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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