omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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