By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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