Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
