I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
