im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
