we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize