im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
