Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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