i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My penis needs a shock collar
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
