we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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