I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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