Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
