Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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