My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
