So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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