Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Pants are for mortals
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
