no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
