Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
