so let's talk penis.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
