Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
