You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
