If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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