You insisted on take shots off of plates.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
