i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
