That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
