just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
