hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
