I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
