I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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