Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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