I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
