I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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