Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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