Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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