There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
