My balls are so social today.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
