ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
