i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
