"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
