Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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