she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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