in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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